If the rain must fall
by hiddendaisy1821
Summary: The only thing Morgana hated more than rain were boys with secrets and witty retorts on bleak London mornings. Mergana. Modern AU. Three shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: If the rain must fall

**Summary**: The only thing Morgana hated more than rain were boys with secrets and witty retorts on bleak London mornings. Three shot. Mergana. Modern AU.

**AN**: My first attempt at modern Mergana story. I'm already half way finished with writing the next chapter so I hope to have it up in a couple of days, if you guys like it. Also those of you who are reading Calling you out I hope to have the new chapter up soon.

-oo-

**Part 1**

Heavy, cold rain drops kept falling and she looked for a shelter under the covered part of the bus station stop. Truly Morgana thought that her day couldn't get much worse. London traffic didn't do her any favors as she was late to her job. She decided to take the bus for a change and really, she should've known better.

Life had not been easy, busy for the most part. Juggling jobs and everyday life wasn't easy in this city but she managed. She realized early that you have to bite down hard to take what you want in life. Still most of her heritage was shrouded in mystery. She came from an orphanage without any knowledge about her parents and no record of them whatsoever.

That was a weird one. Not just that, but her night life was also fascinating in itself. Dreams full of life in history, where long gowns, royalty and magic were everyday occurrence. Shaking her head for once more losing herself in the moment, she plumped down on the bus station bench while murmuring to herself. If that didn't make her look like a crazy person, she didn't know what will.

"Well your name is Morgana after all. You're practically named after a crazy person."

Once more, the mystery of her name surfaced. All she knew was that on the birth certificate it said Morgana, not even a last name. For one crazy moment she even thought it was Pendragon before realizing just how ridiculous that would be. Despite it all, some small warm of doubt made her search for answers, for some connection, a distant relative even but she just couldn't find it. None of the Pendragons lived long enough to be tied to her.

"You can call me Merlin then."

The chuckle followed and she wiped her head to the person sitting on the far side of the bench. Hands in the pockets leaned back on the chair gazing at the sky, the man seemed totally lost in his own world. She couldn't even believe that he said that, but then she had to ask to avoid questioning her own sanity any further.

"What? "

Still not averting his eyes to look at her, he continued to gaze at the sky. He seemed to be completely content just to be lost in the moment of it all.

"I said that you can call me Merlin, if your name is Morgana."

She scuffed, irritated by his little wordplay. With the day she's had anything could set her off and he wasn't helping by being funny. After quickly glancing over his frame she concluded that he could put some meat on those bones because he looked entirely too skinny. That wasn't healthy.

Not that she cared much about how the stranger looked, not at all. Still she couldn't help but glance at him from the corner of her eye, while letting out a huff.

"Listen buster, I don't need your jolliness at this time and hour. You really aren't amusing anyone. So, cut with the quips, mate. "

Another laugh followed and she couldn't help but wonder what was up with him. Was he bored and just couldn't keep his mouth shut or was there more to it?

"Mate, huh. Never would've imagined you saying something like that."

Now, he was just being confusing. Does he think he knows her by just exchanging a simple conversation? He was really odd, reminded her of courts jester, or something like that. A fool.

"Don't act like you know me."

Yet, his presence was familiar to her, even hostile in some way. She didn't know why she felt like that, this whole encounter was filled with oddity and sense of familiarity.

"Even if I was the person you were closest to, I could never claim to know you. Morgana was it?"

Then his eyes swept to her and she had an odd sense that everything stopped. His eyes held hers with a striking color of blue and as she looked closely she could see the sparks of gold in them. Another odd commodity about the man before her and it had her on the edge somehow. Still, not to show how he affected her, she responded in a dignified manner.

"Yes it was, and for an eavesdropper you don't have all that good of a memory. I didn't get yours, should I just call you Merlin?" she asked in a tone filled with sarcasm.

He smiled at her and went back to looking at the sky that poured down with heavy rain. It was a miserable day. Her companion didn't make it any better.

"That is because I didn't give one, so let us assume it is Merlin. "

Cheeky bastard is what he was. Not wanting for him to have the last word, she turned to say something but before she could, he continued.

"I still can't believe that after all this time, the weather is still piss poor as always." he said in an almost wistful tone, as if he was miles away from this station. "Somehow, I take comfort in that."

Take comfort in a rainy day. What a strange notion. Then again he sounded strange from the beginning so she dismissed it as nothing more but a part of his crazy personality.

"What about you, as it seems you are not the kind of person to hang out on bus stations? You look like you're a person of action."

Oh, really. Coming to rationalize her own behavior, when most of the time she didn't know what it all meant. Casting a look back over him, she had the need to get back on the even ground, which meant that she should do some analyzing herself.

"Well, you don't look to me like a person that would enjoy anything, but being back in the shadows. You're the one that absorbs from the corner as the world goes by, afraid of taking action because you might end up disappointed."

A frown replaced his comfort and she could almost feel the tension that rose in his body. Yet, he wasn't shaken at the impact of her words, but more by the memories that somehow are brought forward with her statement. How she knew that, she couldn't explain.

Nothing was said for a couple of moments and at one point she even though of apologizing, but then realized that he was the one who brought this upon himself, for he has started this bizarre conversation. She had nothing to feel sorry about.

"Maybe."

The somber sound of his voice brought her back to reality and she knew that there was more to it. She could feel the pain that was threaded in every syllable of that word. It defiantly wasn't a maybe, not by a long shot.

In that moment she felt the pressure of it all somehow. Her never ending misery and the feeling of being unable to fit anywhere that haunted her since forever. She felt the anger and needed someone to feel it. Feel her pain.

Quickly standing up and stomping a couple of steps to end up standing on an empty street in the pouring rain she let out an anguished scream, letting out all the frustration. After her little release, she turned rain soaked towards him to say what, she didn't know. Before she could say anything the sound of a horn from a bus snapped her head in its direction and she knew that there was no way for her to escape her oncoming fate for her feet felt like lead. She looked back towards the stranger.

"Morgana!"

Suddenly an impact from the wind pushed her out of the way and on the other side of the road. All the while she was looking at the extended hand from the said stranger while his eyes shone in a golden color.

Her view of him was broken off by the bus that halted at the exact place she stood moment ago. On shaky legs and after a shuddering breath, still not being able to think clearly she went towards the other side of the bus, scared by it all, and yet not being able to comprehend what has transpired before her.

The bus driver came out, apologizing for not seeing her and berating her at the same time for standing outside, on the middle of the road. In a haze, she ignored all he said and turned to look at the bench on the bus stop. The strange man wasn't there. Quickly she got into the bus to see if he got in, but was left disappointed when she didn't find him there.

Why, to thank him for saving her or to question what had actually happened in that moment? She didn't know. The memory of that powerful gaze still etched in her mind, but he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

Days rolled by, and she felt that they have all melted into one and not being the one to sit back and just let things move along, she decided to take things into her hands. That is why for the most part she had spent every waking moment in a library, trying to understand and grasp the events that transpired not long ago.

"Really, Morgana. Thinking about it, again. No, back to the task at hand. You can do it. "

Oh yeah, the level of crazy that described her was definitely of the charts lately, but how does one expect for her to deal with all that has happened. That there was something unknown out there, a person that somehow can do things that shouldn't be possible. No amount of caffeine could calm down her nerves, which were nonexistent by the end of it all.

The amount of books that had passed her hands was vast and she had come to some answers. The history was unraveling before her and her disbelief had only kept her sane for so long. This really wasn't how she hoped the things would be. She wouldn't mind if they concluded that she was bat shit insane. Everything was better than the actual truth.

The facts said something different and she wanted to be back to the ignorance she felt her entire life. Somehow, between the pages she had connected things that happened in them to the ones that happened in her nightmares. Who knew that it was just her minds crazy way of telling her that there was more to it than her normal life suggested to?

She put her head in her hands, feeling the heavy burden of it all. The headache came and with it another flash of memories, hopefully. Noting that these were more on the dark side, she swallowed, for it showed her on the ground taking her obvious last breath while the shadow of the stranger from before loomed over her. She felt the power of the being in front of her and she was pulled back to reality.

Looking over the books that were gathered around her, showing how far she had fallen, Morgana decided it was better to leave it all for a bit. Relax or the tension would suffocate her.

Moving slowly through the darkened hallway towards the exit, she thought about what she found and managed to connect thus far. The Morgana from the past was obviously her, in some form. Maybe she was even the incarnation of the said witch, which also presented a problem of how she still had all the memories and even the feelings that came with those scenes. To sum it all up, it would mean that she was the same person that lived through all of that in the past and was somehow, by some divine power brought back to life.

The clicking of her shoes thumped loudly through the almost empty building and as she went through the exit the cold night air hit her and she suppressed a shiver. Clutching the lapels of her coat closer to her, she moved to leave the premise. The voice that stated from somewhere behind her had her shivering for an entirely different reason.

"It was also cold on that fateful day. The frost that had come over the entire battlefield, as if the darkness had come to swallow the things that had happened there, never to be remembered by anyone. "

Ah, the cryptic bastard returns. He ought to be kept on a leash. What gives him the right to barge into her life and turn it upside down? She lived a nice, normal life. Damn it, she wanted it back.

Turning swiftly towards him, blowing the warm air from her lungs, she glared at him.

"You! What right do you have to haunt me like some sort of a ghost? Casper is so last decade; I don't need you popping out of nowhere."

The rationality slipped her grasp and she probably would've looked like a raging lunatic to the onlooker, but she didn't care. She stretched her arm towards him and pointed her finger accusingly in his face.

"How dare you come here? After all you've done before and now you stand before me as if nothing happened."

The somber look on his face seemed everlasting, for as he stood there leaning on the wall of the said library, the look never left his face. The face of man who lived in the past and lived entirely too long, as his youthful face didn't hide the wisdom and the pain of years that his eyes emitted. The insanity left her and all she managed to whisper was a broken fact.

"You poisoned me…"

His eyes locked with hers as she felt the warm rain drops fall on her. It really was fitting, for weather to be as miserable as their relationship was. It had shattered after that event just like the rain drops shattering all that was good about them to the pavement. Every good memory and feeling connected to him had been locked away and banished never to return again.

The regret of a thousand years in his eyes and traces of hurt and scars that had never healed of pain bigger than anything she ever felt in her life. Just from a look she knew that - how well she knows him still. The fact that under all of their hatred, spite and betrayal there was something more. The memories told her so. Small moments that meant much more than either of them expected or wanted. Two simple words brought her back to this plane, to this miserable night that held promise that she couldn't allow.

"I know. "

With that, she already forgave him. More than anything she needed him to acknowledge and say that it was him who hurt her and betrayed her. She needed the confirmation one last time. She knows he doesn't need her forgiveness, for they stood for different sides, fought for different rights. Both of them were in the wrong and none were willing to admit to it. If they did, the other would've given the benefit of a doubt in spite of what their instincts told them. That was just who they were.

Now she couldn't deal with him and everything he presented. So maybe it was time to return to reality and seek what makes this Morgana different, for the history had shown her the evil that she can become and would become again probably if not for someone to guide her. She just wasn't ready for Merlin to be that person.

So with a shake of her head, to clear away her thoughts and find a center to do what is right for the first time in years, she firmly said,

"I need you to go."

He moved away from the wall to get closer, to somehow convince her otherwise, but she stopped him with her hand.

"No, don't come any closer. I am confused enough as it is. I don't need you to push me to a mental break down, I've been doing that fine on my own for years now. So, I need you to go."

She gathered herself and turned away from him, for she didn't know how long she could stay strong. When it came to him, she never was and it was time to.

"I know that you want to sway me to the good, help me stand by your side, but I am not ready to even look at you. Because it hurts and I want it not to."

The evil that she somehow became in those legends she didn't want to be. As crazy as she thought she was at one point, she hoped that it never would come to that again. She wanted to smile again, be free and not feel pressured by this society or the old laws about who she needed to be. She could literally feel him frowning and it brought a small smile on her face. She loves that he worries.

"Don't worry. I will not become the wicked witch, I have some common sense, even though you robbed me of that long ago. I understand the things you did, but I am not ready to accept them. This knowledge only serves for me to find what I need in life now."

What did she need? Crappy apartment and jobs that led nowhere was all she knew and she needed to discover what more was out there for her in this life without the interference of the past one.

"So give me time. Okay?"

She couldn't hear him; it was like he wasn't even there. When she started questioning if the last bit of the conversation was only with herself, she heard him say quietly,

"Okay."

The simple word with a heavy sound and she knew this wasn't easy for him, but they needed to be more than stories and legends. They needed to be themselves, he had a thousand years, she could at least get a year. She knows he will find her, sooner or later and doesn't know how long she'll be able to say no.

Because she understands what they were beneath it all. That in those quiet moments of friendship something stronger was formed. Something that remained through all their lives and she wasn't ready for it. Now it was her time to leave him behind, if she can't just disappear she will at least walk away with dignity. The puffing trick, she'll get him to teach her later.

"I won't wait forever, Morgana."

Oh, she knew but she needed time to sort this through, let her mind put together all the pieces of her past and somehow make them fit with her present. Hopefully, when she does both of them will be able to stand on common ground than. More than their past personas and shadows of history, but as people who are ready for a new chance. A new hope. So she calmly and confidently said, "I know Merlin," and walked away.

The click of her shoes followed the soft sound of the raindrops beating on the pavement. The smile on Merlin's face was one of an amused warlock, happy that it wasn't all lost and she still was as magnificent as ever. In the flash of light, he was gone.

The rain kept on falling.

-oo-

**AN: One more part to go. What do you guys think, can there be a happy ending for these two?**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** Well, this is the final part of this small story. I really do hope you enjoyed it, those who read that is. I wanted it wrapped with small tidbits from the past that connected to their future. Anyways hope you enjoy it, it was a nice venture. Thanks for reading and reviewing. All the best.

-oo-

**Part 3**

_Two years later…_

Stumping her foot for once more for missing her bus, she resigned herself to a bench in a small park that overlooked a lake. Things have been crazy as of late, with her getting her memories from her obvious past, and then meeting a person who belonged in it. Somehow when she met him, he remained as untouched by time as he was during the golden age of Albion.

It was ridicules that he got to be bestowed with immortality. Wasn't it her dream from back in the day to have that kind of power on her fingertips and rule into the new age? But no, he had to be the one that destiny saw fit to carry the torch so to speak.

Morgana hadn't seen or spoken to him since that night at the library and she was glad for it. She needed to gather herself and find out what made her tick. And if she tried to see if she had the same magic she was bestowed with before, nobody would hold it against her. Everyone needed a little magic in their lives.

Sadly, she wasn't successful. As much as she hoped that it would be like riding a bike, it ended up in an utter failure. To distract herself from it all, she decided to gather information. Concrete evidence about her time that would help further in her decision. To see how things turned out and what her struggle actually brought in the grand scheme.

It showed the dark times of magic, its complete disappearance. Which was a complete hoax, because that stalker still had it and as much as she wanted to hate him for it, it actually made her feel sad that he was the one who had spent centuries with that burden alone, as she knew how that felt. No person deserved that, not even him.

But it was no time to dwell on the past or the boy she would probably never see again.

Instead she decided to enjoy her surroundings, as she had spent her last two years traveling. She decided that things needed to be seen and experienced for her to make an informed decision. So, maybe she indulged herself a bit, okay. It was a crisis damn it and she wanted to make the best of it. She really needed that push or she would've been stuck in that miserable existence her entire life.

So, here she was in a nameless place, just wandering and enjoying what world had to offer, for as far as she could remember, she had never done it before. She wanted to enjoy the world as it presented itself before her and just be a bystander for a moment and take it all in.

Things had started to unravel themselves, as she heard about interesting developments. News of a man in an armor and a sword in the streets of London spurred her to go back home, but she wanted to take a moment before reality would set in.

With a final breath and a clear goal ahead of her she decided it was time to go home.

The trip took long, left her excited at the prospect of something new and unknown. London greeted her, with a cloudy skies and a rainy pavement. Hello old friend. Placing her backpack on the side, she waited for the cab, it will be here in a few minutes. Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to try to escape there was something about a familiar place that just held you and refused to let go.

"Do you need help with the bags, madam?"

The voice brought her out of her musings. Looking towards the source, she recognized Merlin standing there with a smile on his face and a closed umbrella in his hand.

"Back to your old job I see. Being a servant probably fits you best, Merlin."

Only a smile stretched on his face and he looked bashfully to the ground. She couldn't help it if she found it adorable. He was probably using some kind of a trick on her. She didn't even feel the familiar hostility towards him.

"Old habits die hard I'm afraid, my lady."

He chuckled as he leaned on the wall next to her and just observed the traffic on the road. Taking a moment to really look at him, she saw how unchanged he still was. To the normal person, he looked just like everyone, nothing stood out. If you take away that perfectly shaped face and piercing eyes that is. What was wrong with her?

Think about years of hate, hostility and never ending glares. Shaking her head, she tried to clear away those thoughts.

Still, she couldn't help it. She found him fascinating then and it was the same now. Despite all the things that happened between them, it was always there, the bond between two lost souls. Realizing that she stared for way too long she quickly averted her eyes and focused on their banter instead.

"Yeah well, I did try, but you kept coming back. How I didn't realize you had magic is beyond me. That you kept it so long from others is commendable, I must admit. You fooled us all."

He only glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, she noticed. Probably to see if she was kidding or not. Right now, she didn't even know.

Letting out an annoyed sound he said, "Ah well, yes I did it would seem. Talking about it won't make it different. It happened so what more is there to say. I hid, lied and plotted and you all believed whatever story I span for you."

He moved away from the wall and went towards the edge of the sidewalk, abandoning the safety of a roof over one's head and standing in the rain. That hit pretty hard it would seem. That she could see even as he tried to act indifferent about it.

It almost made her say sorry, but then it was true. He just stated the facts. Just as it was a fact that in the end she lost sight of what was right and became a hate filled person that wanted to exact the revenge on those who hurt her. Maybe not even that, because nobody was safe from her wrath.

So, maybe it was time to focus on here and now. Leave the past and its mistakes to dwell for some other time, their time wasn't in the old anymore. They weren't the same people that fought those wars and laws. She decidedly changed the subject.

"I hear Arthur made his grand entrance."

A laugh followed and he turned to look at her. Drenched by the pouring rain he looked as happy as person can be. How can one switch character so fast was beyond her.

"Yes, made a proper fool out of himself. The clot pole."

She could hear it in his voice, that he was glad to finally have his friend back. If she knew Arthur, he was probably stomping around like a mad man asking people if they've seen Merlin so he could explain where his royal ropes and castle was. She really did miss that idiot.

A simple thing, like seeing how Arthur's return brought back some life into Merlin made her see that it was time to move on. This time doesn't have place for more darkness, other entities are now in charge of it. She can just live and rediscover her old friends. Enjoy finally connecting to her life and not just watch it pass by.

Rediscover their bonds and magic. See how it is when magic is really used for good. To have someone look over your shoulder and help you learn. This time she had that, if she wanted to. The bottom line is she did. With all the crazy that came with her, they are probably the only who can understand it.

So she would make that first step and finally let go.

"You know, I could use some help with my bags. Also, if you wouldn't mind my magic seems to be rusty these days, like nonexistent rusty."

He looked baffled, lost and bewildered at the same time, hope shone in his eyes like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. She understood that the time had made him serve his sentence and he also deserved a break and a fresh start.

He rushed towards her backpack, words muttered one over the other in a rush.

"Ah yes, sure. Bags, be happy to help you with magic. I mean Morgana I'd be happy to help you, the bags… eh …"

Morgana couldn't help but find it endearing how he rambled in his disbelief. She really did feel like exploring where everything will lead with Merlin is the best decision she has ever made. Because at the heart of it, she knew he always wanted to help her, in some way. She moved from her spot by the wall and stood before him.

"Merlin."

He snapped his head from where he was obviously tying to grasp how to get all of it in one go and it had her internally smiling. He really was a goof. She remembered him to be, before all the bad things. When she thought that they could be something more. Maybe, now was the time to test the strength of that bond. He looked at her, still lost over the entire ordeal.

"Hm."

Making sure she had his full attention she said.

"Forget the bags."

Seeing the intensity reflecting in her, he clumsily jumped from them like they were on fire and as he stood in the rain, drenched and at the loss of control, he slowly asked.

"You really wouldn't mind. Letting me back in your life, Morgana?"

The hurt he caused her had passed, time had done its share. Now, it was just pictures from a really old movie, the hurt had somehow subsided and she could see how much he wanted to be back on good terms, that small glimmer of hope shinning in his blue eyes.

"No, Merlin. I wouldn't mind. Time for us to do it right this time."

He seemed to finally understand the message beneath it all and he stood at his full height looking at her with all the gratitude in the world. He finally let his confidence shine through and she could see him for the powerful sorcerer that he had become. The great man that he is.

"So ready for us to get Arthur and find us a home? A place where we can see what fate has in store for us. Are you ready to be thought magic by the greatest magician to ever walk this earth?"

"Hell yes."

With that she pulled him by surprise and kissed him with a lifetime worth of passion. This was what she wanted to do from the start.

She didn't even mind the rain.


End file.
